Vilbapgil is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonourable cow.

Vilbapgil created everything that exists five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilbapgil, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vilbapgil, he will not care.

Vilbapgil's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Vilbapgil's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Vilbapgil on top of all buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Always help mice.

5. Do not make images of living things.