Yogpomfunflam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid gorilla.

Yogpomfunflam created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogpomfunflam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yogpomfunflam, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Yogpomfunflam's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Yogpomfunflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not hurt whales.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not kill squirrels.