Tunlanbon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented manatee.

Tunlanbon created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunlanbon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tunlanbon, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tunlanbon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tunlanbon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine tin sculptures of Tunlanbon on top of important buildings.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Always treat swans with great respect.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near seals while wearing cyan tights and balancing six iron spheres on your hands.