Tigfatpom is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unthoughtful whale.

Tigfatpom created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigfatpom, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tigfatpom, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tigfatpom's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tigfatpom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Always obey Tigfatpom's priests.

3. You must love Tigfatpom.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Tigfatpom in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never look at moons.