Bassgetlun is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, selfish hyena.

Bassgetlun created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassgetlun, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bassgetlun, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bassgetlun's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bassgetlun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. You must pray to Bassgetlun nine times a day.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Never write about asteroids.