Panjancud is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, egotistical hydra.

Panjancud created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Panjancud, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Panjancud, she will turn you into a plant.

Panjancud's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Panjancud's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Never leap in the presence of voles.