Jamfenarmbut is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, irritating manatee.

Jamfenarmbut created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamfenarmbut, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jamfenarmbut, she will strike you with lightening.

Jamfenarmbut's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jamfenarmbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to hamsters while wearing gray boots.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not eat limes.