Bumtadjig Muthakdad is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, moody bat.

Bumtadjig Muthakdad created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumtadjig Muthakdad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bumtadjig Muthakdad, she will refuse to believe in you.

Bumtadjig Muthakdad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bumtadjig Muthakdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Run away from cyan dolphins, for they are unholy.