Gepfarlap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient ferret.

Gepfarlap created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Gepfarlap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepfarlap, it will turn you into a mouse.

Gepfarlap's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Gepfarlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near whales while wearing indigo ear rings and balancing nine titanium spheres on your face.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Do not keep seven bats in a large pit.

5. Learn three new languages a year.