Cidlanmob is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, deceitful elephant.

Cidlanmob created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cidlanmob, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cidlanmob, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cidlanmob's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Cidlanmob's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never mention otters.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

5. Never feed coconuts to squirrels while wearing corsets.