Mitgatsinnatgeming is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, all-knowing tortoise.

Mitgatsinnatgeming created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitgatsinnatgeming, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mitgatsinnatgeming, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mitgatsinnatgeming's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Mitgatsinnatgeming's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Do not take Mitgatsinnatgeming's name in vain.

4. Never think about ultrasonics.

5. Do not dye your hair green.