Hakqueegyat is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, moody capybara.

Hakqueegyat created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Hakqueegyat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hakqueegyat, he will remove you from existence.

Hakqueegyat's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hakqueegyat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mice.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.