Ditfunmin is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, prudent fly.

Ditfunmin created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditfunmin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ditfunmin, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ditfunmin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Ditfunmin's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.