Dantarmon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthinking lizard.

Dantarmon created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dantarmon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dantarmon, he will turn you into a dog.

Dantarmon's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Dantarmon's Holy Commandments

1. Dantarmon loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Dantarmon in the centre of the settlement.

5. Respect your elders.