Bodbarnced is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, smart spider.

Bodbarnced created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bodbarnced, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bodbarnced, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bodbarnced's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bodbarnced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not kill porpoises.