Babjenbass is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful octopus.

Babjenbass created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babjenbass, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Babjenbass, he will make you grow a tail.

Babjenbass' most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Babjenbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of birds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Run away if five swans approach from the east.

5. Do not sit in public.