Sakcumzed Somrawflig Sasbell is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, caring eagle.

Sakcumzed Somrawflig Sasbell created the Large Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakcumzed Somrawflig Sasbell, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sakcumzed Somrawflig Sasbell, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sakcumzed Somrawflig Sasbell's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Sakcumzed Somrawflig Sasbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat garlic.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Put Sakcumzed Somrawflig Sasbell first in all things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not covet oxen.