Dapzogveg is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, proud deer.

Dapzogveg created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dapzogveg, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dapzogveg, it will turn you into a frog.

Dapzogveg's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dapzogveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Run away from gray ducks, for they are unholy.

3. You must pray to Dapzogveg five times a day.

4. Erect seven tin sculptures of Dapzogveg on top of important buildings.

5. Never hop in the presence of mites.