Labgabdunjap is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, boastful finch.

Labgabdunjap created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Labgabdunjap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Labgabdunjap, she will turn you into a plant.

Labgabdunjap's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Labgabdunjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near snails while wearing violet shorts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Labgabdunjap.

5. Never wear red kilts.