Kimcisscib is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, able deer.

Kimcisscib created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimcisscib, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kimcisscib, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kimcisscib's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Kimcisscib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Kimcisscib in the centre of the settlement.

4. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not make images of living things.