Pibnarlmot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive monkey.

Pibnarlmot created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pibnarlmot, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pibnarlmot, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Pibnarlmot's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Pibnarlmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not keep three monkeys in a large pit.

5. Never wear trousers.