Yattratnig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, humane hummingbird.

Yattratnig created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattratnig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yattratnig, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yattratnig's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Yattratnig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six bats approach from the east.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Never think about dark energy near gulls while wearing magenta tights and balancing nine silver spheres on your chest.

4. Never sit near capybaras.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.