Mumarpzig Tigbell is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, benevolent naga.

Mumarpzig Tigbell created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumarpzig Tigbell, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mumarpzig Tigbell, he will destroy your home planet.

Mumarpzig Tigbell's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Mumarpzig Tigbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Always help sick grasshopers.

3. Never talk about spacetime near swans while wearing magenta kilts.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.