Yarpnatcim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, ruthless human.

Yarpnatcim created the Andromeda Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnatcim, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarpnatcim, it will turn you into a duck.

Yarpnatcim's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Yarpnatcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must pray to Yarpnatcim six times a day.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about planets.