Gemdimbidragfebbifpan is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, witless naga.

Gemdimbidragfebbifpan created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemdimbidragfebbifpan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gemdimbidragfebbifpan, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Gemdimbidragfebbifpan's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gemdimbidragfebbifpan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

2. Put Gemdimbidragfebbifpan first in all things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.