Shavcimved is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able duck.

Shavcimved created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavcimved, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Shavcimved, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Shavcimved's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Shavcimved's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never look at moons.

3. You must pray to Shavcimved nine times a day.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Never mention geese.