Zenjinwik is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, able ferret.

Zenjinwik created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenjinwik, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zenjinwik, it will refuse to believe in you.

Zenjinwik's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Zenjinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing indigo boots and balancing nine lead spheres on your hands.

2. Never write about spacetime.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never feed garlic to seals while wearing white scarves.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.