Cepzedponcabpangbonkyimhan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sage beaver.

Cepzedponcabpangbonkyimhan created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Cepzedponcabpangbonkyimhan, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cepzedponcabpangbonkyimhan, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Cepzedponcabpangbonkyimhan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cepzedponcabpangbonkyimhan's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not keep five hamsters in a large pit.