Motnigquam is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Motnigquam created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Motnigquam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Motnigquam, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Motnigquam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Motnigquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.