Tettifligbell is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous lobster.

Tettifligbell created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettifligbell, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tettifligbell, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tettifligbell's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tettifligbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Worship no other gods but Tettifligbell.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.