Flanwanbatsidbessatlantarg is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, awesome donkey.

Flanwanbatsidbessatlantarg created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanwanbatsidbessatlantarg, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flanwanbatsidbessatlantarg, he will be very sad.

Flanwanbatsidbessatlantarg's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Flanwanbatsidbessatlantarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about spacetime near manatees while wearing mauve boots and balancing six silicon spheres on your arms.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Hide if five sheep approach from the east.