Cimwitgid is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, dishonest chicken.

Cimwitgid created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimwitgid, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cimwitgid, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cimwitgid's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Cimwitgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Cimwitgid loves sheep, so they must be respected.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.