Pidlakfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fussy dog.

Pidlakfoss created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidlakfoss, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pidlakfoss, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Pidlakfoss' most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Pidlakfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Never paint your feet cyan.

4. Hide from yellow moths for they are unholy.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.