Kanceblan is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, strong alligator.

Kanceblan created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanceblan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kanceblan, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kanceblan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kanceblan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat badgers with great respect.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing magenta rings and balancing four gold spheres on your chest.

5. Never go into black rooms.