Flatvilgeb Gepfitgub is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, selfish raccoon.

Flatvilgeb Gepfitgub created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatvilgeb Gepfitgub, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatvilgeb Gepfitgub, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flatvilgeb Gepfitgub's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Flatvilgeb Gepfitgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet corsets.

2. Never think about optics near great tits while wearing blue scarves and balancing nine lead spheres on your face.

3. Do not kill horses.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.