Bigfemzodbutfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, prudent penguin.

Bigfemzodbutfarn created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigfemzodbutfarn, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bigfemzodbutfarn, she will turn you into a plant.

Bigfemzodbutfarn's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bigfemzodbutfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick eagles.

2. Always help gulls in need.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Never feed gooseberries to grasshopers while wearing turquoise rings.