Poppinlam is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, awe-inspiring whale.

Poppinlam created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Poppinlam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Poppinlam, she will send you a sign.

Poppinlam's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Poppinlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snails.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Poppinlam loves sharks, so they must be respected.

4. You must pray to Poppinlam six times a day.

5. Never think about special relativity near grasshopers while wearing red corsets and balancing four iron spheres on your chest.