Nulartfig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, egotistical gerbil.

Nulartfig created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulartfig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nulartfig, it will torture you forever.

Nulartfig's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nulartfig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peas.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nulartfig.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.