Quafstipbenwat Funfigster Zigtailged is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fussy clam.

Quafstipbenwat Funfigster Zigtailged created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quafstipbenwat Funfigster Zigtailged, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quafstipbenwat Funfigster Zigtailged, he will turn you into a goat.

Quafstipbenwat Funfigster Zigtailged's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Quafstipbenwat Funfigster Zigtailged's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Hide from fawn ducks for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Run away if four birds approach from the west.

5. Quafstipbenwat Funfigster Zigtailged loves frogs, so they must be honoured.