Doddumwig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered rat.

Doddumwig created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Doddumwig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Doddumwig, she will destroy your favourite star.

Doddumwig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Doddumwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near badgers while wearing violet hats and balancing seven platinum spheres on your hands.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Fast once a month.