Ladpadcapfar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate horse.

Ladpadcapfar created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladpadcapfar, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ladpadcapfar, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Ladpadcapfar's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Ladpadcapfar's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six mice approach from the east.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not take Ladpadcapfar's name in vain.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ladpadcapfar.