Zenzanbog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, able goose.

Zenzanbog created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenzanbog, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zenzanbog, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Zenzanbog's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Zenzanbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near dogs while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing seven lead spheres on your head.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.