Migfatarm Padafdap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, stupid porpoise.

Migfatarm Padafdap created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Migfatarm Padafdap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Migfatarm Padafdap, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Migfatarm Padafdap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Migfatarm Padafdap's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always help manatees in need.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.