Volflatgumcipmidmigfar is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, proud wren.

Volflatgumcipmidmigfar created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volflatgumcipmidmigfar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Volflatgumcipmidmigfar, she will be mildly annoyed.

Volflatgumcipmidmigfar's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Volflatgumcipmidmigfar's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six nematodes approach from the west.

2. Always look after injured turtles.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Volflatgumcipmidmigfar in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about amino acids.