Hinlipnan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, quiet lizard.

Hinlipnan created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinlipnan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hinlipnan, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hinlipnan's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Hinlipnan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hinlipnan first in all things.

2. Never talk about dark matter near mice while wearing violet trousers.

3. Never hop in the presence of bats.

4. Always treat whales with great respect.

5. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.