Flamcantik is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, quiet wren.

Flamcantik created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamcantik, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamcantik, she will not care at all.

Flamcantik's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Flamcantik's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

5. Run away if six snakes approach from the north.