Bemcisstom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest centipede.

Bemcisstom created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemcisstom, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bemcisstom, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bemcisstom's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bemcisstom's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Never paint your face magenta.