Popfitcad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable eagle.

Popfitcad created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Popfitcad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Popfitcad, it will have a low opinion of you.

Popfitcad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Popfitcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of beans to doves while wearing red scarves.

2. Popfitcad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Popfitcad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.