Wipwonstik is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, sage wombat.

Wipwonstik created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipwonstik, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wipwonstik, it will turn you into a rock.

Wipwonstik's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Wipwonstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Wipwonstik loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never talk about fire.