Quafzagfatzim Vonflamzigvilzigtagdit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, vain coyote.

Quafzagfatzim Vonflamzigvilzigtagdit created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quafzagfatzim Vonflamzigvilzigtagdit, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quafzagfatzim Vonflamzigvilzigtagdit, she will be mildly annoyed.

Quafzagfatzim Vonflamzigvilzigtagdit's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Quafzagfatzim Vonflamzigvilzigtagdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about solid mechanics.

2. Never feed lots of gooseberries to eagles while wearing cyan hats.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Quafzagfatzim Vonflamzigvilzigtagdit loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

5. Worship no other gods but Quafzagfatzim Vonflamzigvilzigtagdit.